Why I Don’t Call Myself A “Mommy-Blogger”
For starters, I find the term “mommy-blogger” off-putting. It’s kind of like the expression “mommy-makeover” or “MILF (which stands for “mommy I’d like to fuck”, in case you were wondering!) ”Mommy-blogger” feels patronizing, degrading- like a silly, little hobby that one does between changing poopy diapers.
Then there is the actual genre, which has many disturbing qualities, most markedly the blatant exploitation of the mommy’s children and family. I just read a post where the blogger referred to her twins as “the good one and the evil one” and in another post she discussed her feelings of shame over her son’s “wiener”, because he is “not as well endowed as the other toddlers in his swim class.” Disgusting.
On another site, a mommy used her blog to berate various members of her family. Regardless of the circumstances, publishing your rage towards your aunt and mother-in-law on the internet (and mentioning them by first and last name!), is a nasty and passive-aggressive act.
Yes, I write essays about my children and my life. But I have a few rules that I stringently adhere to, which I believe sets me apart from the genre. First and foremost, I mostly make fun of myself. When I’m recounting an incident with another person, I always fictionalize any identifying information. When I publish anything, I read my essay through the eyes of my children. I ask myself if anything I wrote could cause them feelings of embarrassment, because once it’s out there, it’s out there.
I hope to inspire, amuse, and provide food for thought on my blogs. And I save my incoherent ramblings, bitch-sessions, and creepy fears and anxieties for my actual journal, which is hidden away in some dusty, old closet, where it belongs.
January 21st, 2010 at 12:25 pm
It’s easy for us writers to say, “Oh, well, it’s all fair game,” but when you are a kind and conscientious person, it’s true that you do not want to hurt people around you. Kind of the micro-version of the larger debate between freedom of speech and expression, and self-control/sense of responsibility (the latter being qualities our media could use more of, but which can never be legislated). You have a terrific way of telling a story honestly and yet not crossing the line into exploitation, Angstmom. And you are right to reflect on this important subject. As the blogosphere explodes and media proliferates–a situation that’s sure to continue in coming years–it will be important to ask these questions and approach work as a writer with a sense of responsibility.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:30 am
Well damn, does that mean I am committing a faux pas by referring to myself as a MILF blogger?