Halloween Candy Fallout: Reese’s Wrappers Everywhere
It started with a miniature Mr. GoodBar on Halloween night. I mean, Mr. GoodBar is a nostalgic candy- it reminds me of my childhood (circa 1983) walking down to 7-Eleven with my brother Jeff on warm, summer nights. How could I resist perfectly roasted peanuts in creamy, Hershey’s milk chocolate?
Then I moved on to the cute, little Krackle in the shiny, red wrapper. How many calories can a few of those tiny bars have, right? Then I tore through the Funsize Kit-Kats, Sour Apple Nerds, and Lemon Heads. I love, love, love Lemon Heads. Oh yes…how could I forget about the Hershey’s Special Dark, Almond Joy, 3 Muskateers, and Milky Way bars I inhaled in under 30 seconds flat?
No, I am not a stoner (anymore)- though if I was, at least I would have a good excuse. I am an out of control mommy who has ransacked my 4-year-old son’s trick or treat bag.
After Halloween night I allow him to have one candy a day, because I want him to be disciplined and learn self-control. I also don’t want him to eat tons of refined sugar and rot his teeth out. O.k….enough sanctimonious bull-shit. I enforce this rule so there is MORE FOR ME!
This is a blatant case of ,”Do as I say, not as I do,” because after he begrudgingly selects his one, meager treat, I sneak off to my room, hide in a corner, tear through the bag, and furiously rip open the wrappers with my teeth like a wild animal. I pray that no one walks in on the sugar orgy I am indulging in.
this. has. got. to. stop.
As I write this, I am trying to ignore the pile of wrappers beside me. Reese’s Fucking Peanut Butter Cups. Peanut butter is the other man in my life. And who the hell am I to deny that chocolate and peanut butter are two great tastes that taste great together? I will not admit how many I’ve devoured today because then I would have to face the fact that in the span of five minutes I consumed my recommended daily allowance of fat grams for the month.
Why is it that the rest of the year I am barely tempted when I walk down the candy aisle, but come Halloween, those Fun Size candies seduce me to the point of reckless abandon? How can I be such a hypocrite by allowing my son only one candy a day while I am consuming my body weight in fat and sugar? The good news- there are only a few desperate Now n’ Laters and Tootsie Rolls left. Even I, an official Candy Whore, have standards. And I am not yet desperate enough to resort to Tootsie Rolls.
But I am seriously considering a Master Cleanse starting tomorrow! But for now, I could have sworn there was a Mounds Bar in the bottom of that bag!
November 6th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I would never go to the store and buy a regular size candy bar, yet, I can consume about 15 fun-size candy bars without coming up for air….what is that all about?
November 10th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
um, okay. This made me laugh out loud, in that uncomfortable *knowing* way. Dammit! So I don’t have a four year old yet to ransack his pumpkin but I ab-so-damn-lutely have that in me. I almost went trick or treating with my 7 month old, I bet he coulda scored big and no guilt. But! I’m nuts and I quit sugar the week before Halloween and I started a blog to keep my hand out of the bowl. Check it out if you’ve got a sec, I think we have something in common…
‘cept I like tootsie rolls.
November 11th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
my sil amy sent me here! and i’m so glad.
i can…SO…relate to this post. in fact, i joined weight watchers yesterday because of that darn bag of candy. well, i’ll blame it on the bag but really…
anyway. i quit sugar two days ago. and i still hear the halloween candy calling my name. they laugh at us you know. the uneaten pieces. they are hysterical, tucked away in their safe little bags.
well…hah, i say. let them rot.
nice to “meet” you!
-melissa
November 13th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I never do that and my fingers are totally not crossed behind my back. Don’t you hate, when you have your eye on a piece of candy and the little brat eats it?