Rock ‘n’ Roll Mom
“I love your outfit…totally rock ‘n’ roll. You look like you should be on the back of a motorcycle.” I was at Haley’s 6th grade open house when her best friend’s father descended upon me. I was wearing one of my basic uniforms: black leggings, cute top, and boots. I was channeling my “Lauren Conrad from The Hills Look”, like every other woman in LA between the ages of 14 and 40. Thankfully, my hair wasn’t tied back in tiny braids, although Haley’s was!
I didn’t think I looked particularly good and my outfit did not warrant any special accolades. Especially from this strange, middle-aged man who was eying me up and down like I was a street-walker, in the presence of both my husband and his wife. My first reaction was profound discomfort and embarrassment. As much as I sometimes like being the center of attention, I also loathe having my appearance commented on publicly.
I gave him a polite smile and said, “Thanks…I guess!” and giggled nervously.
“Wow,” he looked me up and down again. “You look great!” I wanted to run home, rip my outfit off, and and take a hot and soapy shower.
OK…I realize that this incident occurred on Day 27 of my menstrual cycle, probably the worst day of the month for me hormonally. I actually chose the leggings because they were the only thing that fit over my premenstrual belly. But this was not a red carpet event and I didn’t want my “look” to be assessed, I simply came to support Haley.
I realize that I am probably over-reacting. Maybe he was just being polite. But it felt so…sleazy. Even Adam agreed. The fact that this man appears older than my own father added to the “ick” factor.
I also couldn’t help but wonder how I would feel if Adam ogled another woman in front of me and complimented her outfit. I am not the jealous type, but even I would probably be pretty annoyed. Why do people feel the need to comment on other people’s appearances, anyway? What happened to a sincere, “Hello, how are you?” when greeting someone, rather than a “Have you lost weight/ Did you get highlights/Your boobs look so big!”
When I am in social situations, I try to remember to ask myself the following questions before speaking: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said now? The answers are generally no and no. This man’s inappropriate comments were a great reminder for me to shut the fuck up unless I have something meaningful and appropriate to say… but maybe I am just about to get my period!
